Nothing Holding Us Back
by MadeOfWin35
Summary: After discovering Gwen's betrayal, Arthur also discovers the freedom that comes with it. Not one of my best works, just something light and fluffy. Warnings for fluff and SLASH.


_**Disclaimer: i don't own BBC Merlin. Warnings for a super fluffy ending. Apologies for any typos I may have missed**.  
_

_The Wedding Day of Guinevere and Arthur Pendragon_

It was _the day,_ the day he had dreaded for so long. The day that would see_ his_ Arthur married to his best friend, Gwen. He had known it would happen, knew it was destined. Merlin had never hated destiny as much as he did in that moment. He was the one who loved Arthur; he was the one who had been by his side always, even in the darkest days; it was he who had risked his life countless times to save him. He was the reason Arthur was King of Camelot.

It should have been me, he thought miserably to himself. So he watched from a distance as the love of his life married a common servant. How desperately Merlin wished he had been the common servant Arthur had married.

Destiny was never kind.

oooooooo

Arthur stared out his window, into the courtyard below, watching the hustle and bustle of his wedding day. It should have been the most joyous of days; all of Camelot seemed to be rejoicing that its young king was to be wed today.

He gripped the hilt of his sword. He loved Gwen. She was good and kind and loving; she would look after him. She was what he needed. What he needed to drive the devil out. He suddenly spotted Merlin in the courtyard below, directing other servants and his heart ached. This was the devil that clutched at his heart.

The devil he loved.

Merlin with his gloriously high cheekbones, those dopey ears, that goofy grin. Merlin who made him smile when he was sad, Merlin who put him in his place, Merlin who was always there. Merlin.

Arthur closed his eyes, letting the sunshine beam down on his face. He wished he were not a king; wished he was an ordinary man who could love whomever he wanted. If he could have been, he would have loved Merlin.

Fate was never kind.

oooooooooo

_Eight Years Later_

"You betrayed me," Arthur said, his voice cracking with emotion. "You betrayed me again."

"I am sorry, my Lord." Gwen was on her knees before him, sobbing.

"You promised me, Gwen. You said you loved me, that you could never love another. You swore it was over and yet…. I FOUND YOU IN HIS BED LIKE A WHORE!" Arthur shouted, his voice echoing off the walls.

Gwen flinched.

"How many times did you sleep with him?" he asked, his voice even and controlled. "How long has this being going on for?"

Gwen didn't answer. She reached out a hand towards him. "Please…"

He slapped her hand away. "Is my son…Is he…" Arthur's anger was quickly replaced with sorrow, "Is he mine?"

Gwen only started to sob harder.

"So…you don't even know if…Tell me…what was it that I did wrong? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Nothing, my Lord," she managed to choke out.

"Get out."

She scrambled to her feet quickly.

"Tomorrow I will decide your fate and that of Sir Lancelot. The Knights outside will escort you to the dungeon presently."

She paused in the doorway. Queens of Camelot who had betrayed their Kings before… they had been executed. "Please, my Lord, I beg of you have mercy-"

"JUST GO!" He shouted. He didn't want to hear her grovel for her life and that of her lover's. It was too much to bear.

He leaned back in his chair and started to sob, his shoulders shaking. He had been faithful to her all these years, had given her everything she could have wanted. There was someone else he cared about, but he hadn't strayed in an age when so many men did. How could she do this to him after everything? How long had it been going on for? He felt disgusted with himself because he also felt relieved. He didn't have to be honorable anymore, not after she'd destroyed their vows. He started to laugh. He could explore those feelings he'd kept buried inside for so long.

The door opened a tiny fraction. _"Mer_lin, don't you ever knock?" He'd known it was him; Merlin was always there in the shadows, always ready to come to Arthur's aid. He had the uncanny knack of knowing when he was needed and knowing when Arthur wanted to be alone.

"Sorry, sire."

"Calling me sire? Did you do something wrong? Is that why you're being so polite?"

Merlin gave him a quizzical look like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

_Say it, say my name_, Arthur thought to himself. _Remind me I'm a person first, a King second. Call me a prat, a clotpole. _

"Sorry, Your Royal Prat-ness."

"I'm not sure Prat-ness is a word, _Mer_lin_."_

Merlin shrugged. "I'm just a servant."

_No. No. No. You're so much more than that, _Arthur thought. "Do you remember that week you just disappeared? It was right after my wedding." Arthur rested his chin on his hand. "Where did you go?"

Merlin frowned. They had an unspoken agreement to never ever talk about that time. Unable to cope with the permanent loss of Arthur, Merlin had run away right after the wedding. Arthur had intended to go after him, but fortunately Gwaine had convinced him it was a bad idea. Merlin returned a week later, ready to face the grueling task of His Destiny. They'd never spoken of it.

"That was eight years ago!"

"You left right after the wedding, no clue to your whereabouts or safety. Where did you go?"

Merlin sighed. "The sea."

"Where I drank the poisoned chalice?"

Merlin didn't like where this was headed, especially not when Arthur was in one of his strange moods.

"Yes."

"Why?" Arthur asked softly, getting up and standing before him. Merlin shivered when Arthur stepped closer to him, their bodies almost touching. "Do you not understand how worried I was about you? How upset? Why did you go to the sea that day?"

Merlin's voice was barely a whisper, "To drown in the sea," he said, not meeting his king's eyes.

Arthur sucked in his breath, he hadn't anticipated this answer. "Why?" Arthur put his hands on Merlin's shoulders. "Why were you so sad? Did I make you sad?" Arthur asked.

Merlin hoped Arthur wasn't in a throw-everyone-in-the-dungeon-mood because of what he was about to say. "Yes."

"Were you sad I was with Gwen instead of you?"

Merlin closed his eyes. "Yes."

"Did you wish you were in my bed that night instead of her?"

"Yes." Merlin kept his eyes closed, worried that if he opened them, this would turn out to be a dream.

Arthur whispered in his ear, "I wanted you to be the one in my bed that night."

"Arthur." There was an ache in his voice, a longing.

Arthur pressed his forehead against his and let out a low chuckle.

Merlin's eyes snapped opened. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because you're here and I'm here and the sun's going to be up soon. And," he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, "Over there is a _huge_ bed."

Merlin found himself laughing along with Arthur. "Kiss me so I know I'm not dreaming."

With a devious smirk Arthur pulled Merlin to him and kissed him. It was a little awkward at first, especially considering they were both fighting for dominance. It was Arthur who finally acquiesced to Merlin's much more skilled tongue. "I've waited for this for a long time," he said when they finally pulled away breathlessly.

"What about Gwen and…and everything?"

"I won't go back on this, Merlin. You're mine," he said, pulling him in for another kiss. "Gwen…all those other people, they don't matter. What matters is us. What matters is finally being happy and you, Merlin, make me happy."

Merlin laughed. He laughed because he was happy; it was a joy that filled from the top of his head, all the way down to his toes. "You know, every time I've called you a prat…"

"You didn't meant it?" Arthur asked playfully.

"Oh, no I meant it. Definitely. But I also meant I love you."

"So…everytime you've called me a name…wow, that's a lot of I love you's. I have some serious catching up to do."

"You mentioned a bed? Perhaps you can make it up to me?"

Arthur hoisted Merlin up until he was in his arms, bridal style. Arthur was more than happy to oblige his suggestion.

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